When you get right down to it, furniture should serve one purpose above all else: it should be functional. If it is a chair or a couch, it should be comfortable. If it’s a table, it should hold your lamps, beer or maybe even your feet if you’re feeling lazy, without wobbling or collapsing. Sure, it’s nice to get an end table that looks nice, or maybe a classic wingback chair that really adds some class to your studio apartment where one window is covered with duct tape, but at the end of the day that whole “functionality” thing is really all that matters. Of course, that doesn’t stop people from coming up with some truly bizarre pieces of furniture whose purpose seems to be less about function and more about confusion and, in some cases, causing nightmares.
GOLDFISH BOWL TOILETS
Technically, this oddity is called the “Fish’n Flush” and it’s not exactly furniture, per se, but it’s a fixture in every home and it’s where you wind up doing most of your sitting and thinking and, in a lot of cases, reading. If you’re anything like us, most of your Twittering is done from on the toilet as well, so we’re going to go ahead and count it as real furniture for the purpose of this article.
Look, at the end of the day there’s only one time we ever want to combine our pet goldfish with a trip to the toilet, and that’s when little Flipper becomes dead Flipper and it’s time for his corpse to take an adventurous little trip into our septic system. It’s hard enough to poop in a public restroom where someone might only hear you squeezing one out, but the thought of numerous little eyes staring at you, judging you, is just a little much for us to get over. And don’t even get us started on how awkward it would make bathroom masturbation.